Last night, on the last night of 2012, I went to a wedding. It was a special wedding and an amazing event. I knew it would be incredible even if it were just a random date on the calendar. The two getting married are a precious, young, Godly couple from super-fun, super-great families who raised them right. And I packed kleenex. I knew I would cry at the wedding. I always cry at weddings. But this crying was different.
I cried in the parking lot before I ever entered the church. I cried in the pew before the music even started, before the first attendant ever made it down the aisle. And I wasn't alone. The grown man next to me was also crying. And the woman two rows up across from me. And many others were too. You see, just a few short months ago, this precious bride lost her dad. Her larger-than-life dad. Her adventuresome, life-loving, fun-loving, wonderful dad.
I cried in the car and I was mad that Tom wasn't there. Although I've always given God thanks for allowing me to know sweet Tom, last night, I was a little mad at God for taking my friend away. Tom needed to be at that church. He needed to walk his daughter down the aisle. He needed to sit with precious wife and smile with pride as his little girl said her vows. He needed to shed a happy tear on the front row on this special day. Both of Tom's kids are engaged. I was mad that God couldn't have given Tom just a little more time to witness these special occasions.
But because I know that our days on this Earth are numbered and we are not promised a certain number of days, I cried in the car.
After a bit, I pulled myself together, held my hubby's hand and we found a seat in the church. And you know what? I saw Tom last night. I saw him shed a tear as his pride and joy said her vows. He was perched right on that cross. I heard Tom last night. I heard him in the music. I heard him singing "darling, stand by me. ohhhh. stand by me," as his darling, strong, amazing wife walked down the aisle to be seated. I felt him in that church. He was there. I looked around and felt his presence -- he was in every one of us there. He was in all of our hearts and all of our tears.
I saw Tom at the reception. At all the fun being had. He was there in every detail. He was there at the first dance. He was there in all the smiles and in all the laughs. And Tom saw every detail too. He smiled as his precious daughter beamed, laughed and kissed her new husband under a white balloon drop. I saw him smile at me when I saw his blue tie wrapped around his daughter's bouquet for "something blue". Tom was right in the middle of all the fun as the band played "Celebrate Good Times". I saw him photo bomb a zillion pics flashing that wide smile and always giving his "Hookem Horns" sign. Tom passed out noisemakers, glow necklaces and 2013 glasses last night. Tom was definitely there at the candy table, complete with all of his favorite candies, including candy cigarettes. Tom was there alright. In every single way.
And what I discovered last night is that God was there too. God is there. God is our Father. Not one we can physically feel, touch or see but He is with us in every detail too. He is our biggest cheerleader and our biggest fan. He is rooting for us. He is so happy for us. He is laughing with us and celebrating in our joy. He is beaming with pride on our big days.
When I was a kid, I didn't always understand why my Earthly dad did the things he did. I was too little to see the plan. It's the same way with my Heavenly Father. It's silly for me to even try to figure it out. I'm too little to see such an incredible plan. Our loving God has a bigger plan. A massive plan. A wonderful plan. And even on our darkest days, God hurts for us. Even if it's part of His wonderful, divine plan, God is upstairs, hurtling and aching because His precious children are hurting and aching.
So I started the night crying tears of sadness and I ended my night crying tears of joy. We're hurting but we're healing. Thank you, God, for granting me this precious friendship that I have with the Robinson family. Thank you for allowing me to know Tom Robinson. Thank you for the love and the joy and the laughter that I witnessed last night. I saw Tom there. I saw You there too.
Amen
