Thinking about Christmas.

I get pretty sentimental around Christmas time.  Actually I'm pretty sentimental all year long but I get extra, extra sentimental during the holidays.

I start thinking about my life and all the incredible things I've been blessed with.  I begin thinking of those who have passed on before me and are waiting for me up in Heaven.  While I want to spend as much time as I possibly can here on Earth, there is a part of me that is eager to get up to Heaven so that I can be with those precious people again.

I think about my Earthly relationships here with friends and family.  Amazing, generous, loving parents.  Incredible in-laws.  A wonderful husband.  Two children who bring incredible joy each and every day.  A fantastic sister.  An amazing brother-in-law.  And precious, dear friends.

I also love this time of year because I get to bring out all the Nativity sets that I've been collecting over the years.  I set them up all around my house.  Now they are for decorating but when my kiddos were younger, they would play with all the pieces.  I fondly remember precious Robby staging a million army men around the stable and then heard him yelling, "DON'T SHOOT THE BABY!"   What a sweet memory. :)

Each time I'm setting up these nativity sets, I begin thinking about all the different characters and the important roles they all played.  The angel, Gabriel, whom God sent to Mary to tell her that she would become pregnant with God's precious son, Jesus.  

Then there's sweet Mary.  She heard this news and was throughly shaken.  Can you imagine?  You knew in your heart that you had never been "inappropriate" with anyone and now you are going to be pregnant with a baby?  Pregnant with God's baby?  I don't know about you but throughly shaken would have probably been an understatement for me.  This virgin Mary would give birth to a beautiful miracle.  A perfect boy who would be sin-free his entire life.  Given to us to show us how to walk perfectly in love with one another.  After a little assurance, Mary said, "I am the Lord's maid and I am ready to serve."  Amazing.  I'm not sure I would be quite that brave.  I'd be so worried about what my friends and/or my family had to say about this "miraculous" impregnation.  Who would believe me?  But brave Mary didn't care.  She was ready to do whatever God instructed her to do.

And Joseph.  Wow.  What a stand up guy.  The Bible says that Joseph was ready to marry Mary, a pregnant girl who he had not had relations with, so that she would not be disgraced.   Again, what were his friends saying about his decision?  I'm imagining, "Dude!  What are you thinking?!"

And I'm thinking of this journey that the two of them made in the dark, in the middle of the night, RIDING A DONKEY!  When I went into labor, I did a bunch of complaining.  I complained about the air temperature in the car.  I complained about the way my husband was driving. "You're driving too fast.  Now you're driving too slow.  You picked the bumpiest road in Houston on purpose.  Did you call ahead and tell them that we wanted a private room?  NOW YOU'RE YELLING AT ME AND I'M ABOUT TO HAVE YOUR BABY!!!!"  Precious hubby doesn't call it complaining.  He calls it %#^&ing.  Rhymes with itching.  So I wonder if Mary, after traveling all that way, ever lost her cool or complained about the circumstance, her "ride" or her dark, dingy, smelly accommodations.  She was in a barn for goodness sake!  Did Joseph ever fuss back saying, "Listen lady I'm trying my best!  I'm not even the baby's daddy!"

Then we find the shepherds.  Out in the fields in the middle of nowhere.  Pitch black, dark night.  Then all of a sudden with an incredible blaze.  The brightest light.  God' angel appears.  These were some of the bravest men who fought lions and bears with a staff and a slingshot.  And they were terrified.  But the angel said to them "Do not be afraid,"  and they gave the shepherds the amazing news of Christ's birth.  Then, as if that one angel wasn't enough to scare the dickens out of the poor shepherds, God sent a CHOIR of angel to sing of the good news.  Can you imagine?  If I was out in a pasture in the middle of nowhere and this heavenly host of angels sang to me, I'd have to wonder if I was sick or seeing things.  But the shepherds were so excited to see the baby Jesus and spread the news of his birth that they went running to Bethlehem.

The Wise Men of the East saw a star and went to worship this newborn King.  They were "scholars" and were considered the brightest of the bright.  Clearly they knew this was a big, amazing deal.  When Herod heard these scholars were going to see the baby Jesus, he was terrified.  The smartest people he knew were going to travel miles and miles and miles to worship a baby King!  Herod was scared!  He asked the Wise Men to report back to him so that Herod could have the exact location of the baby.  The Wise Men agreed.  They took symbolic presents to honor the new baby.   God however appeared to the men in a dream and they decided to take another route home in order to avoid Herod.

So with all these characters in our story, can you imagine how it would have turned out if just one character didn't do his/her part?  If one person said No?  

What an amazing gift God gave to us on the first Christmas.  A beautiful baby boy.  Made perfect to walk in an imperfect world so that we all could be saved from sin.  So how can we ever repay God or give Him an equally amazing gift?

The only thing God wants is YOU.  He wants you.  You.  YOU.  He wants your whole heart.  He wants you to make good choices.  He wants you to ask for forgiveness when you've gone astray.  He wants you to give forgiveness to others.  God wants you to love and show love.  He wants you to pray, to trust, to be an example of Christ's love.  God wants you to show grace and give grace just as He gives grace to you.

Do this this Christmas but try to do it each and every day throughout the year too.  Christmas all year long.  :)

Merry Christmas, friends and Happy Birthday to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

Sopping Wet

Yesterday was such a fun day at Bible Study.  Our Moms and daughters met up at the Dollar Store to find goodies to go into shoeboxes that we were making for Operation Christmas Child.  It was a great afternoon filled with laughter and love. 

Once we assembled our boxes, we shared a quick lesson on showing God’s love, mercy and grace to others.  To everyone.  To our teachers, our mailman, the homeless guy on the street and even our parents and siblings.  Everyone, no matter what their social status or position, wants respect.

We talked about the children who were going to receive these boxes.  Some may be orphaned.  All of the recipients would be underprivileged and live in far different circumstances than we do.  They most likely won’t be waking up in a comfy bed with a solid roof over their house.  They most likely won’t be going into their kitchen to a stocked refrigerator.  They probably have to share their single toothbrush with other members of their family.  In tough circumstances like these, it is probably easy for these precious children to feel worthless and of little value.

Truth is that you don’t have to live in an orphanage or in an underprivileged environment to feel worthless.  Sadly, there are many people living in beautiful homes with beautiful things surrounding them.  They are successful in many aspects of their lives but they are feeling insignificant and useless.

If you are reading this and you are feeling this way, here is what I want to tell you.  You are already chosen by God!  He has adopted you and has put your picture in His wallet.  He is so, so proud of you and loves you and wants to have a deep relationship with you.  And because God is King and Ruler of all, this makes us princes and princesses!

We are children of the King and because we are now royalty, we need to act as such.  As President John F. Kennedy said, “With privilege comes responsibility.” And it states in Luke 12:48, “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return.”  So what do we need to do?  If we’re children of the King, then we truly believe that, then we need to act with others in mind.  We’ll need to act this way day-in, day-out.  Act church, at school, at the car wash, at home and all places in between. 

And I’m thinking it’s not going to be easy to do everyday.  We are going to slip and fall sometimes (Prince Harry).  We are going to stray, follow the wrong path and might not always do the right thing.

Everyone knows that I’m a country music lover.  Always have been, always will be.  My kids laugh at me because it doesn’t matter if it’s a song or a commercial; I’m singing it loud and proud.  It really stinks for them since I’m not a very good singer.  But I sure act like I am a GREAT singer.  And it really stinks for them if their friends are around.  “MOM, THAT’S SO EMBARRASSING!”  Truly, if I could be anything in the world, I’d be a country music singer.  On the stage in fancy clothes, big hair just belting it out. 

On the radio these days is a song called “Hard To Love” that Lee Brice sings.  It’s very catchy and I find myself singing along to it every time it’s on. 

I am insensitive I have a tendency to pay more attention to the things that
I need.
Sometimes I drink too much; sometimes I test your trust, sometimes I dunno
Why you're staying with me?

I'm hard to love, hard to love, I don't make it easy, I couldn't do it if I
Stood where you stood
I'm hard to love, hard to love, you say that you need me, I don't deserve
It but I love that you love me. good

I am a short fuse, I am a wrecking ball crashing into your heart like I do
You're like a Sunday morning full of grace and full of Jesus I wish that I
Could be more like you.

from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/l/lee_brice/hard_to_love.html ]
I'm hard to love, hard to love, I don't make it easy, I couldn't do it if I
Stood where you stood,
I'm hard to love, hard to love, you say that you need me, I don't deserve
It but I love that you love me. Good
Love me good

Girl you've given me a million second chances and I don't ever wanna take
You for granted, I'm just a man, I'm just a man

Hard to love, hard to love, oh I don't make it easy and I couldn't do it if
I stood where you stood.
I'm hard to love, hard to love and you say that you need me, I don't
Deserve it but I love that you love me. good. (x2)

You love me good.

So it’s another typical country song, right?  A guy talking to a girl about love and second chances and how this girl loves him good.  But I sometimes sing that song to God.  I mess up all the time.  I say things I shouldn’t.  I screw up and don’t treat people the right way sometimes.  But the cool thing is that I may be “hard to love” but God continues to love me. 

We are going to screw up but the important thing to remember is that our God, our precious Father, our sweet Dad, loves us so very much.  All we have to do is come home.  If we just turn around and walk back His direction, God is there throwing a party in Heaven and welcoming us back, just as the father did with the Prodigal Son. 

So since we’re royalty and are daughters and sons of the King of all Kings, it’s our job to lift people up, show them love, treat them with kindness and respect and show them God’s love.  How are we going to do that?  Philippians 4:8 tells us to focus on all things good, honest, lovely, just and pure.  We need to seek God in all circumstances.  We need to acknowledge God in all ways. 

Picture yourself as a sponge and God’s Holy Spirit is the water.  Without God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, we are all dried up.  We are hard.  We are rough around the edges, brittle and tough. 

But what happens when God’s Holy Spirit is poured into us?  What happens if we go to God daily and turn to Him on a consistent and regular basis?  Our dry sponge begins to expand.  We slowly begin to fill up with all things good.  Things that are lovely, just, pure and praiseworthy.  We come bendable and flexible.  We can adjust and deal with all circumstances and situations.  When we are filled with the Holy Spirit, the Spirit that sweet Jesus poured into us, we begin to radiate goodness, love and joy.  We can give hope to others. 

And when our sponge has reached its maximum capacity and is full, it begins to overflow and the water overflows out of it.  Whatever happens to be next to the sponge gets soaked with water.  So if we are full of God’s love and His beauty, whatever we encounter will get soaked with God’s love too!  When we radiate all things good to all we meet, we are pouring God’s love into their sponge.  And the cycle continues.  When their sponge is full, they pass on God’s love to the next person.

Romans 5:5 says, “And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom He has given us.” 

This sponge example makes me think of the CocaCola commercial, “I’d like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony…”  I have always loved that commercial because I just think of what a beautiful day it would be if the whole world was truly in harmony.

Please Lord, I ask you to start with me.  Start with me and help me to spread Your sweet love to all those I meet.  Help me to behave in such a way that others will want to know You because of me.  Lord, pour Your Holy Spirit on me and let Your love flood over.  Let everyone’s sponges soak up Your goodness.  Help all of us seek You in every situation.  Help us to thank You for all the good things in our lives and also for the things we may not understand.  Lord, we might not know why we’re walking down the road You have us on but You know.  You drew the map and You know the Plan. 

I'm hard to love and I don't make it easy but I'm so, so grateful that You love me good.

Praise be to Your glorious name.

xoxoxo

Birthday Blessings

This past weekend, I celebrated my birthday.  Here are a few of the gifts I received over the weekend…

Safe travels up to the farm.  A farm to relax and enjoy.  A fun-filled Friday night filled with family and friends, raising lots of money for deserving kids.  Midnight Yell Practice with family and friends.  My husband letting me sleep in a little late on my special day.  My dad bringing me coffee and waking me up with a birthday song.  My mom cooking a yummy breakfast.  My little boy blessing our food.  Family and friends gathered around singing the Happy Birthday song.  Gorgeous weather.  Visiting with sweet friends.  Fun at a football game.  My phone ringing and buzzing every two seconds with sweet birthday calls, emails, texts and messages from caring friends.  A safe trip back to Houston.  A night with just the hubby.  Kids returning safely to the nest.  A little girl organizing a surprise dinner for her mom's birthday.  Food in my belly.  A roof over my head.  Warm, clean water to bathe in.  To drink.  Clothes to wear.  Good health.

My birthday got me thinking about all the wonderful things that God has blessed me with -- really too long of a list to even try to mention them all.  I started thinking about this one day of the year.  The day I was born.  The day I came into this world.  A newborn without any formed opinions or ugly thoughts or actions.  A brand-new baby who isn't asking for a "do-over" or a second chance.  

That train of thought got me thinking about our sweet Jesus.  Our forgiving Jesus.  Our Lamb who took all the sins of the world with Him when He died on the cross for us.  Didn't He die for us so that we could be "re-born" and have a second chance?  Doesn't He forgive us not seven times but 77 times, if necessary?  Because of this ultimate sacrifice, isn't every day a "birthday" of sorts?  Or maybe a "re-birthday"?  Each day can be a do-over.  Each day is a chance for us to shine our lights and show God's love.  Each day is a chance for us to be more like Jesus and less like us.

Lord, thank you for all these blessings.  Help me to not only recognize them on my birthday but on each "re-birthday".  Lord, thank you for all the friends and family members that helped to make my day so special.   Each and every day, Lord, I ask that you will help me to extend Your love to them always.   They are such blessings to me and I pray that I can be a blessing right back to them.  Lord, I want You to know that I do recognize and know that You are the one who has abundantly blessed me with this amazing life and I just pray that I can somehow, someway radiate Your love enough that others will come to know You through me.

Thank you, sweet Jesus, for Your love.  Praise God from whom all blessings flow.  Amen.  

FOCUS, PEOPLE, FOCUS!!

That has been my mantra this past week.  Hubby has been out of town this week on this annual trail ride.  He always loves going and I don't blame him.  It's a fun time with good friends in the beautiful Texas hill country.  I'm lucky that my hubby does not travel much with his job so I am happy that he gets to enjoy his time with his buddies.

But I'm always happy to have him back home.  During this annual trip I'm reminded of how hard it must be to be a single mother in this world.  A single mom trying hard to raise her kiddos right, keep her job going, making sure there's food in the fridge, the homework's done, everyone's made it to their various, extracurricular activities and are still bathed and in bed at a decent hour.

And it's super hard to run a household in the morning when the only morning person in your happy little family is out of town.  I stink at being a morning person.  And my kiddos are not morning people either.  Our mornings this week started out with me, kindly, lovingly waking up the kids.  "Wake up angel.  Time to get dressed and ready for school".  Then ten minutes go by with no movement.  "Sweetiepies.  Please wake up.  Time to get dressed.  I don't want us to be late for school."  Ten more minutes pass and then all my niceness starts exiting my body.  "KATIE AND ROBBY.  You need to get up, out of the bed and get a MOVE on it!"

This past Thursday, as I was putting things in the car, thinking we're about 2 minutes from leaving the house, I see my precious son in his shirt, boxer shorts, one sock on, one sock off, hair totally disheveled, teeth unbrushed, laying on the floor, untouched breakfast still at the table, playing army in his imaginary lego world.  

I lost it.

"ROBBY, YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO GET DRESSED AND MEET ME IN THE CAR.  PUT THE LEGOS DOWN NOW AND FOCUS."

It was like someone had lit a match under his bottom and he was moving!  He got dressed so fast, ran his fingers through his hair, gave his teeth a quick, millisecond brush and made it to the car with his breakfast in tow.

We made it to school on time that morning and even managed to share some smiles and happy laughs before my little peeps exited the vehicle.  That morning got me thinking though.  I wonder if God sometimes looks down from His heavenly throne above at all of us rushing around all the time, here and there, like busy little ants.  Is He upstairs with the angels saying, "COURTNEY TAYLOR.  Quit freaking out, stressing out about all these insignificant things!  FOCUS."  Does He mumble under His breath like I do?  "If I've told you once, I've told you 100 times.  Every single morning, it's like this!  You kids have got to start doing your part!"  I'm wondering if my Father in Heaven has uttered these same, exact words that I utter to my kiddos on a regular basis. 

If any of you are like me, I have a daily "to-do" list a mile long.  A friend of mine whom I used to work for, in his day-planner at the same time every morning, he had handwritten "Thank You Jesus".  I have always loved that.  It's perfect for the "non-morning" people like me.  When I've slept past my alarm and I'm rushing out the door, driving to work like a wild maniac, still getting dressed and putting on makeup as I'm driving, I'm screeching into my parking space, running to get to my desk.  I can open up my planner and see "Thank You Jesus" as the very first "to-do".

So where is your attention today?  What is your focus?  Today in all of your busyness, please take just a minute to FOCUS on God  Focus on Him.  Zoom in on Him as if you were a high-powered camera lens.  Focus in on all His beauty and goodness and just say "THANK YOU".

I know I will.  And yes, please, I'd love a refill on my coffee.

By The Seat of My Pants

SCAREDITY CAT.  That’s what I was when I was little.  Always afraid to go too fast, go too far.  Always worried that I would get hurt or break something – either a rule or a bone!  And what if I wasn’t good at it??  Yikes!  So in order to avoid participating, I stayed on the sidelines.  I made up every excuse in the book of why I wasn’t out there.  Oh I’m not feeling well.  Oh I think my ski boot is broken, etc. etc. etc. 

Not sure why I was nervous or scared.  Nothing had ever happened to me before.  And I was always amazed and slightly envious of my little sister who went through life at mock speed.  Liz was always flying.  Flying by on a horse, Flying past me down a mountain or flying behind a boat waterskiing.  I loved that she wasn’t afraid of anything.

I hated being afraid.  And I hate that my “scaredity cat” genes might have been passed along to one of my kiddos.  I hate it because I know I missed out on a lot of fun by being “chicken”.  By being afraid for no good reason!  And I don’t want these precious children of mine to miss out on anything.  Not one single thing.

So this summer, the kids and I decided this would be a summer of “Oh, What The Heck!”  We made that our motto and agreed that Summer 2012, we wouldn’t be nervous or scared or worried about anything.  We’d try new things and not think about or fret about the “what if’s”.  A summer filled with lots of new, fun sports, new activities, new adventures and lots of choices.  How will we react to new situations and new circumstances? 

Our bible study met today and we discussed choices.  We talked about making good, Godly choices in life and how hard that is to do in today’s world.  I know I have such a hard time making Mom/Wife choices; it must be so hard to do it as an 11-year-old girl.  We talked about “reaping what you sow” and how each and every decision we make today has consequences and repercussions.  We discussed where we want to be as a person in twenty years and how every choice we make today needs to take us closer to that person.

These precious middle school girls are starting to have to think about choices and consequences.  These sweet, pure, innocent girls will have to start standing up for what is right in front of their peers.  They will have to be brave and courageous in a tough world full of pressures.  God didn’t promise that this life would be an easy life but He did promise that He is always there for us.  He sent his only son, Jesus, to face this tough world.  I can’t think of anyone more brave or courageous. 

In Bob Goff’s book, Love Does, he reminds me that often our smart phones mistype LIVE for LOVE and LOVE for LIVE at times.  Which one did you mean to type?  And what if you want to do both at the same time?  Isn’t that what God wants us to do?  Doesn’t He want us to go out and joyfully live this fabulous life?  Doesn’t He want us to love this fabulous life that He gave to us?  Do we have to choose?  Can’t we do both?    

With the recent events in my life, I’ve been thinking about my life and the choices I’ve made in the past.  I’m ashamed of some of the things I’ve done to people.  I didn’t treat them right or fairly.  I’m ashamed of the way I acted when I was younger.  I’ve acted inappropriately and talked inappropriately at times.  I’m not proud of that.

But I am proud of the person I’m becoming.  I am proud of the choices I’m making today that are preparing me for a beautiful tomorrow.  Because of precious Jesus, I have been cleansed.  He died for our sins and washed all of the inappropriateness, the wrongs, and the ugly talk away!  Because of Him, I am made new and I am so, so grateful for this good news.

So since it’s still 100 degrees outside and we’ve got one more weekend to swim at the pool before it closes for the year, I’ve decided to continue with our “Oh, What The Heck!” theme and carry it through the rest of 2012.  Will you join me?  Help me to honor and glorify God by living boldly!  Join me in honoring God by living and loving vibrantly!  Choose to let your light shine brightly and join me in glorifying God by living and loving courageously!

We aren’t promised another day so let’s live it with joy and excitement!  Were there things on your “to-do” list from the summer that just didn’t get done?  What is on your “bucket list”?  Let’s choose to boldly honor and glorify God by tackling some of these and crossing them off the list.  My list might look a little insignificant but if anything were to happen, I believe these would be the times most remembered and would be time well spent.  A few items on my list include:  more sports with the kids, biking with the kids, nature trails, more picnic lunches, more horseback rides, date night with the kids individually, more date nights with the hubby, time spent with my parents and my sister, time spent with my in-laws, time with my friends.

So here’s what I’m choosing to do… I’m getting off the sideline.  I’m diving in and I’m joyfully participating.  I’m going to enjoy this great life I’ve been given.  I’m going to fly by the seat of my pants, mock speed with my hair on fire.  Now's who's buckling up beside me? 

Give and Take.

Wow!  Another amazing weekend full of fun and busyness, family and friends.  And lots of football!  I’ve been watching football for as long as I can remember and you would think that I would have learned or could be able to see the various “holding” calls or penalties but I’m always having to lean over to the guy next to me to ask, “what was that call for?” or “why were we penalized 5 yards?”

And watching the Texans/Dolphins game today, I was struggling with who to root for – my Texans home team or the young rookie (former Aggie) Dolphin quarterback.  Ryan Tannehill was on the field, playing tough.  One play that I remember, Tannehill was sacked and lost a few yards but then the very next play, he makes it up by throwing a long, perfectly executed pass for a nice gain.  Give and Take.  That’s how the game went today.

And I’m finding that is how life goes sometimes.  I’ve had a pretty emotional week.  My sweet 4-year-old friend had an important surgery to remove the cancerous tumor from his body.  His surgery began early on Thursday morning and finished up early Friday morning. It was a long and grueling 18+ hour surgery but and we sure rejoiced Friday knowing that that awful mass was out of his body!  God gave us a long, long day filled with anxiousness and emotion and then He took away the tumor!  Praise God for He is so so good. 

On Saturday, God gave us a beautiful, cool, breezy day in Texas .  We were up at the farm and everything just looked so green and lovely.  Honestly, a little like an Instagram photo that had been all doctored up.  God gave us a new baby calf.  God sent a red cardinal to fly past me (as He does every time I drive down County Road 274) to remind me of my amazing Grandfather whose favorite bird was the cardinal.  God gave me time to spend with my parents, my daughter, my sister and my niece. 

And then on Saturday early evening, God took away my dear friend, Tom Robinson. 

Tom was a man who RADIATED love, joy and goodness.  He gave the best hugs and made you feel as if you were the most amazing person in the entire world.  He treated me like a little sister.  And I adored my big brother. 

Tom managed to put together the picture-perfect family by not being picture-perfect.  And I mean this is a good way.  Tom was real.  He was genuine.  There was nothing fake about him.  What you saw was what you got.  And it was such a good thing. 

Tom and his beautiful wife, Cathy, have been role-models for me.  As parents, as friends, as Christians.  They always have a smile to share and always carry happy hearts.  The children they raised are equally as lovely.  Two good, loving Christian children who both recently became engaged and are both making wedding plans. 

Tom loved his family and his friends.  And Tom loved flying airplanes.  His daughter recently asked him “how the wedding fund was” to which he replied, “I’m flying it!”  Tom sold his plane and was taking it for one last spin before he turned it over to the new owner when his plane crashed during takeoff early Saturday evening.  I remember when we were all together at their lakehouse earlier this summer, I asked Cathy, “aren’t you a nervous wreck when he leaves to fly those planes” and she told me “No, I’m not because he’s doing what he loves.”

Tom loved all of the “toys” at the lakehouse.  The boat, the jet skis, that super cool plane that lands on water, etc  We were teasing about it all and how his lakehouse was the ultimate “adult” summer camp and he jokingly said “Yep, I really think I’m living the dream.”  How amazing is that?  He was alright.  He was living the dream and he loved sharing it with everyone else.  God gave Tom that amazing life.  But as fun and cool and awesome his life on Earth was, I have to believe God took it away so that He could give Tom something even more amazing in Heaven.  I know Tom is up there, right this very minute, throwing the biggest party with his bestie, Jay.  and I'm betting Tom, the ultimate entertainer, probably had styros made that read "Jesus Juice".

God gave me Tom Robinson to know, to love, to show me how to be a friend.  To show me how to raise a family.  God gave me a friendship that I’ll never forget.  Cherished, precious memories that can never be taken away. 

Rest in peace, sweet Tom.  

xoxox

HeartBurn!

August 27, 2012

So I did it!  I took a leap of faith and started a Mother/Daughter bible study!

For the last six to nine months, I’ve had this stirring in my heart.  I’ve been up at night, walking the floors, unable to sleep, thinking and praying and asking God, “What is it?  I’m up and I’m yours.  Do you need to me do something?”  During this time, God has been bringing me closer to Him in various ways but I kept hearing Him tell me to start a Mother/Daughter bible study.  A study that brings us closer to our girls and our girls closer to their Moms and all of us closer to God.

Of course, in the beginning, I thought, “Oh I’m sure that’s heartburn from the enchiladas I shouldn’t have eaten!  God doesn’t want me to be leading a bible study.  I have no knowledge!  I’m inexperienced!  I wouldn’t know what to do or how to begin!  I’m a novice!  I get sweaty palms and start rambling and stuttering when I try to speak in front of people!  No, no, if God wanted to use me, it would be in a very different way.  This must be heartburn.”  Then I remembered that’s what Moses did on the mountain.  He thought of every excuse of why he shouldn’t go to the Pharaoh and tell him to let God’s people, the Israelites, leave Egypt.   He didn’t want to go to the Pharaoh!  He was scared and nervous and Moses had a stuttering problem!  Why would God send a stutterer to the PHARAOH to express such an important message?  So I, like Moses, began thinking of excuses.

And that’s when I started hearing the phrase “God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called”.  So God continued on.  And again, each and every day and each and every night, this phrase would be in my brain and on my heart.

And God kept going.  And going.  And going.  Just like the Energizer bunny (BUT CLEARLY MORE POWERFUL!)  God kept talking to me, kept waking me up at night with this same thought on my brain and stirring in my heart.  Night after night.  For months!  Then, He started putting people in my life to encourage me along.  Just short insignificant conversations to an outsider but to me they were so meaningful and so powerful!  Just short conversations here and there with various Moms about our middle school girls and growing up in today’s world.  A world full of pressures – from peers, from society.  Pressures that these girls sometimes place upon themselves!  Pressures that we as Moms will face and how we will need to really guide these girls to God.  To me, these conversations were the “burning bushes” in my life.  More signs of God speaking to me.

So then I began thinking what IF I started a bible study?  What if this is His will for my life?  What if I brought 1 person closer to God?  What if I brought many people closer to God?!  What is the worst thing that could happen if I reached out and no one came but me and my daughter?  Just the two of us praising God together.  And that beautiful thought of my daughter intimately knowing God and His infinite, unending love for her turned my thought process around. 

Instead of thinking “Why Me?” I started thinking “Why NOT Me?”  J  I believe in a God who can equip anyone and can do anything!  In the bible, it clearly states that Noah drank too much, Jacob lied, Peter denied Christ and Lazarus was dead.  And there are many, many other examples of God qualifying the called.  If God is on my side, why couldn’t I do this?  Once I turned my attitude around, I began to smile and praise Him and say THANK YOU FATHER!  For believing in me and trusting in me!  Here I am, Lord and I will do it!  J

So yesterday was our first get-together and of course, even though I’ve been preparing for at least a month, I was such a Nervous Nellie.  I felt as if I stuttered my whole way through it and felt as if I talked in circles the entire time.  But I will also tell you this.  I woke up this morning, crying.  Crying with love in my heart for these girls and these women.  I cried to God to please let His love rain upon them.  I cried for God’s peace and calmness and loving presence to be with them in all ways, in all their days.  I cried for God to abundantly bless them in every way.  And I pray He hears my prayers.

So it was heartburn after all.  A heart burning to get closer to God.  I pray that these young girls and their Moms will feel their hearts burn with a deep desire for Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  I started this bible study so that it would be a blessing to these girls and their Moms but after just one meeting, I have a feeling I’m the one who has already been abundantly blessed. 

My cup runneth over and I am so grateful.