August 27, 2012
So I did it! I took a leap of faith and started a Mother/Daughter bible study!
For the last six to nine months, I’ve had this stirring in my heart. I’ve been up at night, walking the floors, unable to sleep, thinking and praying and asking God, “What is it? I’m up and I’m yours. Do you need to me do something?” During this time, God has been bringing me closer to Him in various ways but I kept hearing Him tell me to start a Mother/Daughter bible study. A study that brings us closer to our girls and our girls closer to their Moms and all of us closer to God.
Of course, in the beginning, I thought, “Oh I’m sure that’s heartburn from the enchiladas I shouldn’t have eaten! God doesn’t want me to be leading a bible study. I have no knowledge! I’m inexperienced! I wouldn’t know what to do or how to begin! I’m a novice! I get sweaty palms and start rambling and stuttering when I try to speak in front of people! No, no, if God wanted to use me, it would be in a very different way. This must be heartburn.” Then I remembered that’s what Moses did on the mountain. He thought of every excuse of why he shouldn’t go to the Pharaoh and tell him to let God’s people, the Israelites, leave Egypt. He didn’t want to go to the Pharaoh! He was scared and nervous and Moses had a stuttering problem! Why would God send a stutterer to the PHARAOH to express such an important message? So I, like Moses, began thinking of excuses.
And that’s when I started hearing the phrase “God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called”. So God continued on. And again, each and every day and each and every night, this phrase would be in my brain and on my heart.
And God kept going. And going. And going. Just like the Energizer bunny (BUT CLEARLY MORE POWERFUL!) God kept talking to me, kept waking me up at night with this same thought on my brain and stirring in my heart. Night after night. For months! Then, He started putting people in my life to encourage me along. Just short insignificant conversations to an outsider but to me they were so meaningful and so powerful! Just short conversations here and there with various Moms about our middle school girls and growing up in today’s world. A world full of pressures – from peers, from society. Pressures that these girls sometimes place upon themselves! Pressures that we as Moms will face and how we will need to really guide these girls to God. To me, these conversations were the “burning bushes” in my life. More signs of God speaking to me.
So then I began thinking what IF I started a bible study? What if this is His will for my life? What if I brought 1 person closer to God? What if I brought many people closer to God?! What is the worst thing that could happen if I reached out and no one came but me and my daughter? Just the two of us praising God together. And that beautiful thought of my daughter intimately knowing God and His infinite, unending love for her turned my thought process around.
Instead of thinking “Why Me?” I started thinking “Why NOT Me?” J I believe in a God who can equip anyone and can do anything! In the bible, it clearly states that Noah drank too much, Jacob lied, Peter denied Christ and Lazarus was dead. And there are many, many other examples of God qualifying the called. If God is on my side, why couldn’t I do this? Once I turned my attitude around, I began to smile and praise Him and say THANK YOU FATHER! For believing in me and trusting in me! Here I am, Lord and I will do it! J
So yesterday was our first get-together and of course, even though I’ve been preparing for at least a month, I was such a Nervous Nellie. I felt as if I stuttered my whole way through it and felt as if I talked in circles the entire time. But I will also tell you this. I woke up this morning, crying. Crying with love in my heart for these girls and these women. I cried to God to please let His love rain upon them. I cried for God’s peace and calmness and loving presence to be with them in all ways, in all their days. I cried for God to abundantly bless them in every way. And I pray He hears my prayers.
So it was heartburn after all. A heart burning to get closer to God. I pray that these young girls and their Moms will feel their hearts burn with a deep desire for Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I started this bible study so that it would be a blessing to these girls and their Moms but after just one meeting, I have a feeling I’m the one who has already been abundantly blessed.
My cup runneth over and I am so grateful.
